Cyberstalking is the use of the internet, phones or connected devices to repeatedly harass, monitor, threaten or intimidate someone. Unlike a one-off nasty message, it’s persistent — a pattern of unwanted contact and surveillance that can follow a person across every account and device they own. This guide explains what cyberstalking is, how to recognise it, and — most importantly — the practical steps to protect yourself or someone you care about, based on the guidance that domestic-violence and cybersecurity experts actually give.

One point shapes everything that follows, and it’s worth stating plainly because a lot of advice online gets it wrong: protecting yourself from a cyberstalker is about locking down your own accounts, devices and information — not about monitoring anyone else. In fact, covert monitoring software is one of the tools cyberstalkers misuse, so the right response runs in the opposite direction.

What Is Cyberstalking?

Cyberstalking is online harassment that is repeated and deliberate, aimed at monitoring, frightening or controlling a specific person. It can take many forms, often several at once:

  • Relentless unwanted messages, calls or emails across platforms
  • Monitoring a person’s social media and online activity
  • Tracking someone’s location through their devices or apps
  • Creating fake accounts to contact, impersonate or spread lies about the victim
  • Doxxing — publishing private information like a home address
  • Publishing or threatening to publish intimate images
  • Installing stalkerware — covert software that secretly tracks a device

What separates it from ordinary online conflict is the pattern. Cyberstalking is persistent and repeated, and it’s a crime in most places — a fact worth knowing, because it means the police and the courts have a role to play.

How Common Is It, and Who’s Targeted?

Cyberstalking affects millions of people and has grown alongside our reliance on connected devices. Research consistently finds that while anyone can be targeted, women, young adults and LGBTQ+ individuals are more likely to be victims — and that in a large share of cases, the stalker is someone the victim knows, very often a current or former partner.

That last point matters for how you protect yourself. A stranger cyberstalker and an ex-partner who knows your passwords, has had physical access to your phone, and knows the answers to your security questions are very different threats — and the second is, unfortunately, the more common one.

The Warning Signs

Cyberstalking can be hard to pin down early, because individual incidents can seem minor. Watch for a pattern:

  • Someone who won’t stop contacting you across platforms despite being asked or blocked
  • A person who seems to know things about your day, location or conversations they shouldn’t
  • Repeated fake or anonymous accounts contacting you after you block them
  • Your accounts showing logins you don’t recognise, or settings changing on their own
  • Your phone behaving oddly — fast battery drain, unfamiliar apps, running hot — which can indicate stalkerware
  • Threats, or unwanted gifts and messages meant to unsettle you

How to Protect Yourself from a Cyberstalker

These are the steps experts recommend. If you believe you’re already being stalked, read the evidence note in the next section first — some of these steps can tip off a stalker or destroy evidence if done in the wrong order.

Lock down your accounts

Change passwords to strong, unique ones — especially if an ex-partner may know your old ones — and turn on two-factor authentication everywhere. Review which devices are logged into each account and remove any you don’t recognise. Update your security questions, since an ex may know the answers.

Tighten your privacy

Set social media accounts to private, review who can see your posts and contact you, and be careful about anything that reveals your location or routine. Turn off location sharing in apps that don’t need it, and be aware that photos can carry hidden location data.

Check your devices for stalkerware

Stalkerware is covert software an abuser installs — often needing brief physical access to your phone — to secretly track your location, messages, calls and even your microphone and camera. Run a reputable anti-malware scan, review app permissions for anything with access it shouldn’t have, and keep your phone’s software updated. Important: if you find something and suspect stalking, see the evidence note below before removing it.

Secure your home network and devices

Change default passwords on your Wi-Fi router and any smart-home or security cameras, enable strong encryption, and keep firmware updated — connected home devices can be misused to monitor someone.

Don’t engage

Responding to or confronting a cyberstalker tends to escalate the behaviour and can complicate any later legal case. Block where you can, and direct your energy to documenting and reporting instead.

If You’re Already Being Stalked: Preserve Evidence First

This is the step people most often get wrong, and it matters legally. Before deleting messages or removing suspicious apps:

  • Keep everything. Screenshot and save messages, emails, posts, usernames, dates and times. Distressing as they are, courts need the original records.
  • Don’t remove stalkerware straight away. Deleting it can destroy evidence and tip off the stalker. A domestic-violence advocate or the police can help you document it and plan a safe next step first.
  • Report it. Use each platform’s abuse-reporting tool, and contact your local police — ask them to log it specifically as stalking or cyberstalking under your local law. If the stalker is in another US state, the FBI’s IC3 accepts cross-jurisdiction complaints.
  • Get specialist support. In the US, the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) and the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative help with exactly this. If you’re in immediate danger, call your emergency number.

If you need to communicate privately while evidence is preserved on your usual phone, consider using a separate, clean device.

Protecting Children from Cyberstalking

Children and teenagers can be cyberstalked too, often by someone they’ve encountered online. The protective steps are similar — private accounts, careful location settings, strong passwords — but the foundation is the same as with any online risk: a child who feels able to tell you when someone is frightening or pressuring them, without fear of losing their device, is far safer than one dealing with it alone. Keep that conversation open, take any disclosure seriously, preserve evidence, and involve the platform and, where needed, the police.

A Note on Monitoring Tools

It’s worth being honest about something on a page like this. Monitoring and tracking software has legitimate, consent-based uses — a parent openly overseeing a young child’s device, for instance. But the same category of tool, used covertly against a partner or another adult, is stalkerware, and it’s a weapon of exactly the abuse this article is about. That’s why any responsible use rests on knowledge and consent.

If you’re a parent looking to support a child’s online safety openly — including helping them recognise and respond to unwanted contact — transparent family-safety tools can play a part, used with your child’s knowledge. Our parental control comparison covers the options. But if you’re being stalked yourself, the answer is not another monitoring app — it’s the account-securing, evidence-preserving and reporting steps above, and specialist support from the resources listed.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is cyberstalking?

Cyberstalking is the repeated use of the internet, phones or connected devices to harass, monitor, threaten or intimidate a specific person. It can include relentless messaging, tracking someone’s location or online activity, impersonation, doxxing, and installing covert stalkerware. What defines it is the persistent, deliberate pattern — and in most places it’s a criminal offence.

How do I protect myself from a cyberstalker?

Lock down your accounts with strong, unique passwords and two-factor authentication; set your social media to private and limit location sharing; check your devices for stalkerware; and secure your home Wi-Fi and smart devices. Don’t engage with the stalker. If you’re already being targeted, preserve evidence before deleting anything, report to the platforms and police, and contact a specialist service like the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

What is stalkerware?

Stalkerware is covert software an abuser secretly installs on someone’s device — usually needing brief physical access — to track their location, messages, calls, and sometimes microphone and camera without consent. It’s a common tool in cyberstalking, particularly by current or former partners. If you suspect it’s on your device, don’t remove it immediately; consult law enforcement or a domestic-violence advocate first, as removing it can destroy evidence.

Is cyberstalking a crime?

Yes, in most jurisdictions. Stalking and cyberstalking are illegal, though the specific laws vary by location — in the US, many are written at the state level. You can report it to local police, seek a protective or restraining order, and in cross-state US cases file with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center. If you’re in immediate danger, contact your emergency number right away.

How do I know if there’s stalkerware on my phone?

Possible signs include unusually fast battery drain, the phone running hot when idle, unfamiliar apps, unexpected data use, or settings changing on their own. Review your app permissions for anything with access it shouldn’t have, and run a reputable anti-malware scan. If you find something and suspect you’re being stalked, don’t delete it right away — preserve it as evidence and seek advice from police or a domestic-violence advocate first.

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