Digital Parenting: Detect Undercover Conversations on Your Kid’s Social Media

detect kids secret conversation

As a parent, you want to protect your child from the online world risks. Your kids must use social platforms, and you know that it can expose your child to online dangers. These dangers include Cyberbullying, sexting, and inappropriate content. But do you know how to detect undercover conversations on your kid’s social media?

Undercover conversation includes hidden messages, slang, and codes. These messages may seem ordinary, but they contain harmful or illegal meanings. But if parents are unaware of these messages, they may risk their children.

In this blog post, You will learn how to detect undercover conversations on your kid’s social media, such as Instagram account. By the end of this blog post, you will be able to protect your kid from the risks of covert conversations on their social media accounts. It will help you to become better digital parents.

How to Spot Undercover Conversations on Social Media


Slangs are popular among teenagers. It is challenging for parents to decode their kids’ slang on Instagram. It can have different meanings, such as creative, playful, or can be humorous. However, some slang can contain harmful meanings in the conversation. Some slang words are also used for asking for inappropriate activities.

Bae: It is used to refer to boyfriend or girlfriend.

Netflix and chill:  This means to watch Netflix but also means to engage in inappropriate activities.

Savage: It is usually used for describing a person who is a cool badass. It can also mean to be cruel.

Snack:  Used for a person who is attractive, hot, or sexy. It can also mean to engage in inappropriate activities.

Thirsty: Used to describe someone desperate or needy. Also used to say to be horny.

Ghost: Shows the act of disappearing or ignoring someone. But it can also mean to kill someone.

Lowkey: Used to describe something discreet or secret.


Kids use symbols and numbers that are hard to understand in messages. These words have their own secret meaning. Kids use it on popular social media platforms like Instagram to avoid detection. Some codes also represent sexual acts, drug use, or violence. Following are some examples of codes and their hidden meaning.

143: used to say “I love you,” but it also can mean that “I hate you.”

420: this code is used to refer to marijuana or smoking.

53X: It is code for sex

9: this code means gun

CD9: this code means to say parents are around.

GNOC: Used for saying get naked on camera

KPC: this code is commonly used to say keeping parents clueless.


Hashtags are words usually written by a hash sign (#), and most kids use them on social media accounts like Instagram and TikTok. They use hashtags to join a trend online. It also indicates to the algorithm that your content relates to a specific topic. There are still some hashtags that have secret meanings and show inappropriate acts, the use of drugs, or violence. Following is some hashtag that can help you understand the undercover conversation.

#sue: Used for suicide

#cuts: shows self-harm

#420: It is used for referring to marijuana

#yousuck: it is used by kids who want to hurt and humiliate others online

#nakedchild: this hashtag is used for searching kids’ pictures by pedophiles.

#straykids: This is used for fans of the South Korean boy band Stray Kids.

#trump: this is used to criticize the former US president Donald Trump

To stop your children from engaging in undercover discussions, you should closely check how they utilize it within the content. You should get it the context and combination of slang, hashtags, and coded words or expressions.

In case your child uses these words randomly or uses various slang words together, they cover up something. On the off chance that they repeat it in a specific pattern, they may send a code or signal in messages.

How to Handle Undercover Conversations on Instagram

After you note that your kid’s social media feed is flooded with random emojis, odd hashtags, and coded words, it may flag that they are engaging in covert discussion. Kids utilize coded language to cover up the real meaning of guardians. You’ll get to communicate together with your kid and set boundaries and rules. Here are some guidelines that help parents handle undercover social media conversations.

Communicate with Your Kid

When you find an undercover conversation on your kid’s social media account, it is better to communicate with your child. Communication is critical to resolving any issue. During it, you should be calm and respectful towards your child. Give your child time to share their perspective and feelings. Try to understand why they are engaging in undercover conversations.

Set Boundaries and Rules

The second thing you should do when you find the undercover conversation on your kid’s social media account is to set boundaries and rules. Boundaries and rules help establish expectations and consequences for your kid’s online behavior. While setting rules, you should be clear, reasonable, and involve your kid. Explain the reasons and benefits of the boundaries. By following the boundaries and rules mentioned below, you can set rules for your kid’s online activities and interactions:

  • Limit screen time on social media.
  • Review the people your kid follows.
  • Limit the time of using social media platforms.
  • Monitor their activity logs.
  • Educate your kids about the dangers of the online world.
  • Block or report any suspicious or inappropriate accounts.

Protect their Privacy and Safety

Finally, once you know that your kids use covert discussions on social media accounts, ensure their Security and safety. When your child’s account is private, it’ll decrease the harm of the online world. Guardians should be proactive while observing their kids. Below are a few tips.

  • Use a strong password on the kid’s account
  • Enable security and privacy security settings on social media accounts
  • Disable the location feature on social accounts
  • Report and delete abusive messages your kid receive

Robert Siciliano, CEO of Safr.ME and cyber security speakers advise parents to check their child’s Instagram account’s privacy settings. And make sure that their accounts are private. It will protect them from strangers. It won’t permit strangers to see and comment on their posts. He, too, advised guardians to avoid sharing their data online and address. And don’t post anything that appears to be their identity, area, and other points of interest.

The Impact of Undercover Conversations on Social Media on Your Kid’s Mental Health

This discussion can have a genuine impact on your kid’s mental well-being. Your kids can confront diverse feelings and thoughts depending on the context of the message. These sentiments can affect your kid’s mood and behavior. It may lead to the taking after mental and emotional issues:

Stress: It can cause stress for your kid when they confront pressure, conflict, or confusion. Your kid may feel overwhelmed, anxious, or nervous. And can feel difficulty resting, concentrating, or relaxing.

Sadness: It causes sadness, especially when your kid faces rejection or dissatisfaction. Your kid may feel sad or useless. They may have low energy, low inspiration, or self-destructive thoughts.

Low self-esteem: Covert discussions on Instagram can cause low self-esteem for your kid when they face comparison or humiliation. Your kid may feel useless or ugly.

Suicidal thoughts: Online risks can cause suicidal thoughts in your child. Particularly when they face abuse, violence, or bullying online on social media platforms, your kid feels pessimistic about their self.

Carol Todd, the mother of Amanda Todd, a Canadian teenager who committed suicide after being cyberbullied and blackmailed on social media, urges parents to communicate with their children regularly and openly and provide them with support and guidance when needed. She also encourages children never to have unlimited screen time on Instagram, which may affect their mental health, sleep, and academic performance.

The Alarming Facts About Online Safety For Children

Approximately 70% of kids have experienced sexual content while searching for educational material. A safe at-last survey reported that many kids have been exposed to offensive content online while working on school tasks.

More than 65% of children between 8 and 14 years old have experienced cyberbullying, according to Safe at Last research.

31% of boys and 36% of girls have experienced cyberbullying. According to the same study, both genders have faced cyberbullying, but females are more likely to be the target than boys.

In 25 countries, around 80% of teens have reported that they feel in danger of sexual abuse online. The majority of kids are safe and insecure online, according to a UNICEF survey, especially when they talk with strangers.

Approximately 80% of kids don’t report things they see online. Surprisingly, a CyberAware study found that many kids do not report bad online experiences or interactions.

How to Stay Informed About the Undercover Conversation Your Teen Do

You’ll need to take a proactive approach to stay informed about the undercover conversations your teen may have on social media such as Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, Telegram, Imo, Line, QQ Messenger, and Discord platform.

Check Their Accounts:

Frequently check kid’s activities on their social media accounts. Monitor any alter in their following list and search for suspicious messages. It’s way better to ask your child for the password of their accounts. But if your child feels hesitant while sharing their password, it may be a sign they are engaging in suspicious activities.

Teach Them:

Conversation openly and honestly with your kid is almost online security. They must know the dangers of sharing personal data online. Teach them not to participate in online discussions. Build up clear rules and results in a friendly environment with your kids.

Use TheOneSpy Monitoring and Parental Control App:

Another way to detect secret conversations on your kid’s social media account is to use a third-party application. This tool remotely monitors your kid’s online activities without accessing their mobile phones. You can also track their Instagram stories, photos, and all the other types of content. These third-party applications like TheOneSpy also help you set parental control settings on your kid’s social media. It can alert you if your kid uses any secret words in their


Now, parents know the secret world of social media and how to crack secret codes. You may feel like it is an invasion of a kid’s privacy, but staying updated about their digital life is critical. Educate yourself about all the vocabulary to spot the hidden messages. Keeping a friendly environment with your kid helps set healthy boundaries and rules. Stay on top of the latest digital parenting strategies that will empower you to secure your child online.

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