If you think your phone is being monitored — that someone has put tracking software on it without your consent — there is one thing to know before anything else: removing it will probably tell them you know. That can make things more dangerous, not less. Read the safety section before you touch a single setting.

If someone is monitoring you and you feel unsafe:
US: National Domestic Violence Hotline — 1-800-799-7233 (call or text), 24/7 · NNEDV Safety Net
Anywhere: Coalition Against Stalkerware — resources for survivors
Use a device the person doesn’t have access to. In an emergency, call your local emergency number.

Why We’re Writing This

We should be straight about who we are. TheOneSpy makes monitoring software — for parents supervising their own children, and for companies overseeing company-owned devices. That puts us in a category with a real problem, and it’s worth naming rather than dodging: apps like ours are sometimes marketed under the language of “parental monitoring” or “employee tracking” and then used for something else entirely — watching a partner or an ex without their knowledge.

That’s called stalkerware. In many places it’s a crime. There is exactly one thing separating legitimate monitoring from it, and it isn’t the feature list — it’s consent. A parent who tells their twelve-year-old the app is there is doing one thing. A person who installs software on their partner’s phone while they’re asleep is doing a different thing, and no marketing copy changes which is which.

So this page has no product pitch and no discount code. If you’re reading it because you’re frightened of what’s on your own phone, we’re not going to sell you anything. Here’s what you need.

What Stalkerware Is — and How Phones Actually Get Monitored

Stalkerware is commercially available software installed on someone’s device, without their knowledge, to monitor them. Depending on the product it can capture messages, calls, location, photos, browsing, and keystrokes.

Two things are true of almost all of it:

  • It requires physical access. Someone had to hold your unlocked phone. Remote installation from a phone number, as advertised by some sellers, is essentially a scam — if a stranger claims to have installed something remotely, they’re almost certainly lying to extort you.
  • It abuses legitimate features. On Android it typically exploits device administrator privileges (built for companies managing work phones) or Accessibility services (built for users with disabilities). It isn’t magic, and it leaves traces.

Signs Your Phone Is Being Monitored — and Why They’re Unreliable

Most articles hand you a list of symptoms and imply it’s diagnostic. It isn’t, and the Coalition Against Stalkerware is explicit about this: unusual device behaviour may indicate stalkerware, but it may not — and some stalkerware runs with no visible side-effects at all.

So treat the list below as reasons to look further, never as proof either way:

  • Battery draining much faster than it used to, with no other explanation
  • Mobile data spikes you can’t account for — the software has to upload what it collects
  • The phone is warm when idle
  • Your device went missing and came back, or someone borrowed it for an unusually long time
  • Settings you didn’t change — particularly “Install unknown apps” enabled on Android
  • iPhone: the location arrow stays lit when you’re not using maps
  • Screen Time reports showing usage that isn’t yours
  • Camera or microphone permissions granted to apps you don’t recognise

The strongest signal isn’t technical at all. It’s someone knowing things they shouldn’t — where you were, what you said in a private message, who you called. That is worth more than any battery reading.

Before You Check Anything: Safety First

This is the part that matters most, and it’s the part that gets buried.

If someone installed monitoring software on your phone, they are watching a dashboard. The moment that dashboard goes dark, they know. NNEDV’s Safety Net research consistently finds that the most dangerous period for a domestic abuse victim is when they take steps to leave or assert independence. Removing stalkerware is exactly that kind of step — an abuser may read it as you preparing to go.

So, in this order:

  1. Get a safe device. A friend’s phone, a work computer, a library machine — something they have no access to. Do your research from there, not from the phone you suspect.
  2. Talk to an advocate before you act. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) and NNEDV’s Safety Net project have people trained specifically on this. They will help you build a plan for your situation. This is not an overreaction — it’s the correct order of operations.
  3. Document before you delete. Screenshot the app, the settings, the permissions. If you may want police involvement or a protective order later, deleting the evidence first makes that harder.
  4. Then decide about removal — with a plan, not on impulse at 2am.

If there’s no abusive relationship in the picture — say you bought a second-hand phone, or a former employer’s device — none of this applies and you can simply scan and remove.

How to Check if Your Android Phone Is Being Monitored

Only if it’s safe to do so.

  1. Settings → Apps → See all apps. Look for anything you don’t recognise, especially with generic names — “System Service”, “Device Health”, “Sync Manager”, “WiFi”. Stalkerware hides in plain sight with a boring name.
  2. Settings → Security → Device admin apps (wording varies by manufacturer). Almost nothing should be here. Anything you don’t recognise with admin rights is a serious flag — this privilege is what stops you uninstalling it normally.
  3. Settings → Accessibility. Check what has access. Accessibility services can read everything on your screen; stalkerware abuses this constantly. If something’s enabled that isn’t a genuine accessibility tool, that’s a flag.
  4. Settings → Apps → Special access → Install unknown apps. If this is on for a browser or file manager and you didn’t enable it, someone side-loaded something.
  5. Run a reputable scanner. Malwarebytes and other Coalition Against Stalkerware partners detect stalkerware specifically — most classify it separately from malware, because it isn’t technically a virus.
  6. Check Google Play Protect is on, and check your Google account for unfamiliar devices with access.

How to Check if Your iPhone Is Being Monitored

iOS is much harder to install stalkerware on — but there are three real routes, and they’re often overlooked because people search for an “app”:

  1. iCloud access. The most common by far, and no app is involved. If someone knows your Apple ID password, they can see your messages, photos and location from any browser. Change the password from a safe device, check Settings → [your name] for devices you don’t recognise, and turn on two-factor authentication.
  2. Settings → General → VPN & Device Management. A configuration profile here that you didn’t install is a serious flag — this is how monitoring gets onto a managed iPhone.
  3. Find My / Location sharing. Settings → [your name] → Find My → Share My Location. Check who’s on that list. Also Settings → Privacy & Security → Location Services.
  4. Safety Check (Settings → Privacy & Security → Safety Check) — Apple built this specifically for this situation. It lets you review and stop sharing with people and apps quickly.
  5. Is the phone jailbroken? Look for Cydia or Sileo. A jailbroken iPhone can run anything.

If You Find Something

  • Don’t delete it yet if there’s any safety dimension — go back to the safety section.
  • Document it — screenshots of the app, permissions, install date.
  • Consider that this may be a crime. Installing monitoring software on an adult’s device without consent is illegal in many jurisdictions, and can support a protective order.
  • Change passwords from a safe device — email first, since it’s the reset key to everything else. Then two-factor authentication everywhere.
  • A factory reset removes most stalkerware — but restoring from a backup can reinstate it. And it won’t delete what’s already been uploaded to someone else’s dashboard.
  • Sometimes a new device is the honest answer, with fresh accounts, set up on a network they don’t control.

How to Make It Harder Next Time

  • A six-digit PIN or biometrics — never a pattern, which is easily observed over your shoulder.
  • Two-factor authentication on your email and cloud account. This blocks the iCloud route entirely.
  • Don’t leave your phone unlocked and unattended around someone you don’t trust. Stalkerware needs physical access; that’s the whole game.
  • Check your accounts periodically for unfamiliar linked devices.

The Line, Stated Plainly

Monitoring software is not inherently abusive. A parent supervising a nine-year-old’s tablet — openly, with the child’s knowledge — is doing something reasonable. A company managing devices it owns and told its staff about is doing something legal.

Installing software on an adult’s personal phone so you can read their messages without them knowing is not a grey area, whatever the product is called or however it’s marketed. It’s surveillance, it’s often criminal, and the fact that our industry has been slow to say so plainly is a fair criticism of our industry.

If you came here worried about your own phone: the resources at the top of this page are staffed by people who understand this specific problem. Use a device the other person can’t see, and talk to them before you change anything.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I tell if my phone is being monitored?

Look for unexplained battery drain, data spikes, the phone being warm when idle, settings you didn’t change, or an iPhone location arrow that stays lit. But be careful: the Coalition Against Stalkerware notes these signs aren’t reliable — some stalkerware runs with no visible symptoms at all. The strongest signal is non-technical: someone knowing things they shouldn’t.

Can someone install spyware on my phone remotely?

Realistically, no. Commercial stalkerware requires physical access to your unlocked device. Anyone claiming to have installed something remotely just from your number is almost certainly attempting to extort you. The main exception on iPhone isn’t an app at all — it’s someone using your Apple ID password to read your iCloud data from a browser.

Should I delete stalkerware as soon as I find it?

Not if there’s any chance the person who installed it could become dangerous. Removing it makes their dashboard go dark, which tells them you know — and NNEDV research shows the most dangerous time for abuse victims is when they assert independence. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) from a safe device first, document what you found, then decide with a plan.

Is it illegal to monitor someone’s phone?

Installing monitoring software on another adult’s personal device without their consent is illegal in many jurisdictions and can constitute stalking or unlawful interception. Monitoring your own minor child’s device, or a company-owned device where staff have been informed, is generally lawful. The difference is consent and ownership — not the software.

How do I check my iPhone for monitoring?

Start with your Apple ID — change the password from a safe device and check Settings → [your name] for unfamiliar devices, since iCloud access is the most common route and involves no app. Then check Settings → General → VPN & Device Management for profiles you didn’t install, review Find My location sharing, and run Safety Check (Settings → Privacy & Security → Safety Check), which Apple built for exactly this.

Help and Resources