For all parents, their kids are the innocent beings and this notion keeps them from considering their mischievous kids as bullies. They choose to be inattentive to their kids’ bullying behavior until they are informed by the school authorities or complained by any other source of the objectionable behavior of their child. Kids can sometimes be playful and get involved in unprincipled activities without letting their parents know – bullying is one of those acts.
Bullying is not a new thing. Bullies have been around since inception but the technological advancement has provided new platforms to bullies to conduct their bullying behavior. A few decades ago, bullying used to occur in an educational setting but today the bullies have started using the internet for name-calling, spreading rumors and threatening the victims. Be it traditional face-to-face bullying or cyber-bullying, both can have horrible consequences not just on the victim but on the bully as well. The bullies are at great risk of mental, behavioral and physical problems. They can be suspended from school and can face criminal charges and civil lawsuit depending on the act.
What do the Bullying Statistics Show?
In every 7 minutes, a child is bullied. In the United States, the schools give shelter to 2.1 million bullies and 27 million bullied. According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, more than 21% students report being bullied. The reasons reported by the students for bullying were looks (55%), body shape (37%), color (16%), gender and disabilities. The bullying victims are at an increased risk of depression, anxiety, sleep disorder and poor academic performance. The students who are both engaged in bullying behavior and target of bullying are at great risk of mental and behavioral problems than those who are only bully or only bullied.
Traits that Help Parents Know if Their Child is a Bully
Is your kid physically violent or verbally abusive in most cases? Does he show no empathy? You are raising a potential bully if your answers are ‘yes’. However, if you have inadequate clues that your kid is a bully who is inflicting harm on other children, these characteristics can help you identify the bully in your home.
Anger, impulsiveness, and aggressiveness are the main personality traits that are usually found in every bully. However, the frustration could be expressed or embedded in the form of online bullying. Your kid may show the regular frustration that every child does, but showing violent behavior in many cases is the sign of a bully. The aggressive kids think that the whole world is against them and they release their anger by hurting other kids.
Your kid’s friends can have a significant role in his life. If his friends are engaged in bullying, he would take it as an acceptable attitude. Some kids engage in bullying behavior on being pressurized by their peers or becoming afraid that they may become the next victim of bullying. Having the right company is crucial particularly when your kid is in early developmental years of his life. Friends can have a greater impact on what your kid turns out to be later on.
Many children who bully others are in chase of popularity and dominance. If your kid is obsessed with popularity than the probabilities of him becoming the bully are the highest. The bullies do not want their authority or dominance to be questioned. They usually talk in “my way is the highway” style which is based on their need to be in control.
Lies, Lies, Lies
Do you often find your kid lying to you or exaggerating his achievements? The bullies often claim to excel at things they have never done; boast of knowing people they have never met or assert to see the places they have never been. A liar is more likely to tease and hurt other kids than a truthful and principled child.
Social Media Obsessed
Have you ever noticed how much time your child spends on social media? Studies indicate that kids normally spend around eight hours using online socializing platforms. If you find an increase in your child’s internet or social media use, your kid is more likely to be involved in cyber-bullying intentionally and unintentionally. Monitoring the internet use of your children may help you detect whether or not your kid is bullying someone.
Does your kid often blame you for his unhappiness? Does he feel annoyed because you did not ask for his day or you did not take him somewhere he wanted to? Does he get angry because you said something that provoked him? He holds you responsible for his bad mood and never holds himself accountable for how does he feel. These are the traits of a bully who always wants others to make him feel happy and teases others when having a bad mood.
Does your kid keep counting the things you have not done and not what you have done for him? A bully always focuses on what you do wrong and never on what you do right. He constantly finds mistakes in your doings. Your critic kid is more likely to be a bully who can make the people around him having bad days most of the time.
What Should You Do When Your Kid is the Bully?
Most of the parents, when finding out that their kid is a bully, tend to be aggressive about the situation. They punish them and take their devices back which can make the situation worse. Here are the best ways parents can deal with their bully kids to prevent them from bullying.
Keep Communication Line Open
The responsibility lies with parents to ensure that their kids do not tease others. Regular discussions can help you get your kid learn the importance of treating others the way they like to be treated. Discuss the things that we usually do or say to someone that feels funny at that time but can be hurtful to the other person. Talk about the importance of respecting others and interacting in a respectable manner with the people whether online or offline.
Develop Healthy Relationship
Developing a healthy parent-kid relationship makes it less likely to get your child engaged in bullying behavior. The thing that
can help develop a strong bond with your kids is the communication. Have frequent discussions with your kids; ask open-ended questions and listen to their opinions and practices. Asking them about their day would encourage them to share their experiences and sentiments. It would make you aware in both cases whether your kid is oppressed by someone or he has harassed others at school.
Make them Feel Punished Not Rewarded
If you find that your child is bullying someone, make sure you punish him the same way he would be punished for this misconduct at school. You are required to model the discipline that is being gotten from the school. If the school suspends your kid for bullying, do not let him enjoy his days at home playing games, using cell phones or watching their favorite shows. When parents do not keep the same level of punishment at home, the kids are more likely to take their suspension as a vacation which would not change their attitude at all.
Give Proper Attention to Children
A bully looks for the attention which he fails to get at the home. The kids who do not get enough time and consideration from their parents are more likely to be aggressive and frustrated. They hurt the defenseless fellows to release their frustration and get attention. It is important for parents to be attentive to their kids; make them feel valued and create a healthy home environment. Also, they must understand that their own behavior at home is what kids learn from.
Keep Devices in Open Area
Many parents allow kids to have computers or laptops in their rooms and shut the door. This is the biggest mistake parents can make because it keeps them from knowing if their child is being bullied or bullying another child. Make sure to place the computer in open areas where you can walk by and can see what your children are doing online.
Monitoring your kids’ mobile phone and laptop use can help you detect whether or not your kid is a bully. TheOneSpy cell phone parental control app lets you read your kid’s text messages, instant messages, and emails so you can ensure your kid is not engaged in a misconduct or harassing others. Moreover, you can record all the incoming and outgoing phone calls; monitor their social media accounts; trace their contacts and monitor and control their online and offline activities. The Bugging feature allows you to closely watch out kids’ activities outside the home capturing their surrounding scenes and listening to their voices and surrounding sounds. Installing the spy app on your kid’s phone can empower you to secretly and remotely monitor their digital and real lives to prevent them from wrongdoings.
Get your kids learn empathy, kindness, and respect for others; monitor their real and cyber lives being a responsible parent and help stop bullying with TheOneSpy.